How do you speak to yourself? Do you speak to yourself in a kind, patient and caring way? Do you speak to yourself like you would someone you really loved and cared about? Many times the answer is no. We don’t speak to ourselves that way, in fact we would never speak to anyone in our lives the way we sometimes speak to ourselves. We are the hardest on us. We are often the least patient with ourselves, the least tolerant with ourselves, the least encouraging with ourselves. The self-talk we have drives our thoughts, actions and words. It is a voice that can, through time and practice be changed to be much softer, more patient, tolerant and encouraging. Journaling helps us. Interrupting disruptive thoughts helps us. Separating our behaviour from ourselves is helpful (‘I did something stupid’, NOT ‘I am stupid’). If you wouldn’t say something to a friend or loved one because it’s too harsh or mean, then you shouldn’t be saying it to yourself. The way you speak to yourself matters.
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