Stepping Stones To Freedom

When we release our secrets and shame we become more free. We all have secrets and shame to a greater or lesser extent. Someone of us are not authentically us, we hide part or all of who we really are for any different number of reasons. Some of us do things and have habits that we don’t admit to ourselves never mind anybody else. We may not feel it’s a burden to us or a problem initially or even now; But over time the weight gets heavier, the lack of truth grows and eventually we will become overwhelmed, unhealthy, unwell and won’t be able to do it anymore. Whether we hide part or all of who we are or part or all what we do we can’t be whole until we open up. Addiction thrives in shame and secret. When we don’t feel like we can connect fully we addict. When we don’t feel our true selves are worthy we don’t show our true selves. We may hide who we are in some or many ways. The stepping-stones to freedom start with some acknowledgement to self. Admitting who you are and what you do to yourself. When we can say to ourselves whatever applies: I am hurt, I am gay, I am sad, I am lost, I can’t stop, I need help, I hate myself, I am addicted to, I have a problem with… We have then taken the first step. Then tell yourself it is ok, because it is. You are not alone, we all have these challenges, they just look different or are hidden. You can change, anyone can. Habits can be broken, and habits can be built. If we have a strong motivation to do or not do something, it is possible we can have a strong motivation to not do or do something. All we need is to be open to the possibility of this fact. Who you are is who you are. You are enough. I am enough. We are enough. Different is not wrong. Different is not unworthy. Different is just different.

We can be in a minority and be and am/are enough. We are not all white, straight and middle class. We are not all the majority. Sometimes when we are not in the majority we can feel 'less than'. If we have no role models then we can become them. If no one is modelling how we can and could be, then we can and could be that person and those people. Let’s stand up and be seen. When we talk about what we are shamed about it dissipates, when someone else connects with that it gives them comfort, and strength. Our pain can feed others courage. We can keep it in and let it fester or let it out and help someone else know they are not alone. We are not alone.

‘I am gay’ ‘I was/am suicidal’, ‘I have/had depression’, ‘I was/am addicted to’, ‘I was/am an alcoholic’ ‘I buy/bought things to make myself feel better’ ‘I am/was…fill in the blank’

When you can tell yourself, you can then tell someone else, someone you love or someone random, just let it out… Ask for some help. Get some guidance from an expert or from someone that’s been where you want to go. None of our struggles are wasted, we can learn from them. We can use our disconnection to connect with others.

When we really see someone and we can relate we empathise and we can’t help but connect. We may not have experienced the exact experience, but if we have been a minority, if we have been an addict, if we have suffered, if we had had pain we know what that feels like to be that person. When you have not been different than the many, or not been in a minority you will not understand in the same way as someone that has. If you are in minority, your minority is not as minor as you think. There are more people in struggle that we would ever believe. Together we can help, together we are stronger. We can take a step, stepping stones to freedom.

#letstalk #letsshare #letsbefreeoffear #byebyestigma

For more perspectives & thoughts on our shame, download my digital download guide:

steeleyourself: How To Get Better, Be Better & Feel Better now from

Recent Posts

See All

Boundaries are for us, they are there to teach others how to treat and love us. They come from a place of self-worth, when we foster this, when it grows our boundaries become less negotiable. We canno

If you are completely new to the gym, many offer inductions which I suggest you take advantage of to familiarise yourself with the space and the equipment. The machines all usually have instructions o

We are enough all of the time, without exception. No matter what success we have or don’t have. No matter what relationships we have or don’t have. No matter what material stuff we gain or lose. No ma