Self-pity is a very destructive behaviour, it is born out of choosing to live in negativity. Whatever we are not changing, we are choosing. Optimism is a mental muscle, it’s a skill that needs practice so the skill becomes a habit. Much the same as pessimism is also a muscle and is strengthened in the same way, though often less consciously. Going from negative to positive is challenging. The goal could be to become more neutral and once mastered, move from neutral to positive. Being positive all of the time is not always possible, if we think of it as a continuum with being negative at one end and being positive at the other, the goal could be to try and stay on the positive side more and more, rather than on the negative side. Being negative has no benefits. We can create a lot of our own negativity and choose to keep ourselves in it, we can also be surrounded by it and choose to continue to be subjected to it. We can protect ourselves from others negativity. We can let go of the need to fix or take responsibility for others feelings. We can bring compassion and understanding if the person is suffering and we can set boundaries around the amount of time spent around them. We don’t have to engage in negative conversations, we can choose to say nothing. When we stay positive in a negative situation, we win. To help reduce negativity in ourselves we can choose to stop gossiping about other people. We can set goals, we can practice self-care. We can stop complaining, blaming and explaining. We can start to say no more. We can choose to not watch the news and have regular social media breaks. We can choose to quit visualising the worst case scenario and try the opposite. We can stop saying we can’t afford it. We can also review our negative thoughts, behaviours and actions. Journaling our feelings and how we deal with situations is useful to read back to see how we have progressed. We can reduce them through practice, we can eliminate them over the long term. It takes time, effort, patience and consistency. When we reflect on a bad day we can think, ‘Was it a bad day or a bad 5 minutes that affected (or that we let affect) all day?’ We can turn every negative situation from ‘Why is this happening to me?’ to ‘What is this trying to teach me?’. We’re human, it's ok to have a meltdown, we just don’t need to unpack and live there. We can cry it out then refocus on where we are headed. The darkest nights produce the brightest stars. We can stay strong and be positive, we all struggle sometimes and its ok. We can start promoting positivity and negating negativity.