Passive People

Some of us were neglected in some way as a children or abandoned by our caretakers, so we may have buried some anger and fear in hope that it would mean no one would ever abandon or neglect us again. What happens when children do this though is that we end up abandoning ourselves. We can hold ourselves back when we don’t feel our feelings. We end up passive and we don’t live up to our potential. The passive person says to him or herself ‘I know what I need to do but I just don’t do it’. When we bury our feelings we bury who we are. Childhood emotional trauma teaches us to hide part of ourselves. We can become people pleasers, unfortunately for a people pleaser we will never be able to make everyone happy, we will fail. We can work on our passivity, we can start to feel our feelings, we can start to take action and move forward and realise our potential. The freedom is in feeling our feelings. We can now turn towards emotion with acceptance. We can think about what the emotion is and name it. We can accept the emotion and that we are feeling it. We can then remind myself that the emotion isn’t permanent and then think about it, ‘Why do I feel like this?’ Then we can sit with it. We can let go the need to control our emotions and let them pass. Our emotions and feelings are all valid. The do not need explanation or justification to anybody else. What we feel and what we bring to the table is as valuable as anybody else’s feelings and contributions. When we haven’t felt our emotions are valid it is because we don’t feel worthy. Self-worth can be cultivated, we can develop our own self-worth. We are worthy, we are enough. It is a process to understand and evolve into being this way, it takes time and active practice.

#passivity #feelingfeelings #selfworth

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