When we start to do the work, the self-development, the self-discovery and the healing we need to do we become much more aware not of what, how and why we think the way we do, but of what, how and why we feeling the way we do. Our thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. Our feelings are just feelings, they are valid. When we start to judge our feelings by ‘shoulding’ ourselves (I shouldn’t feel like this or like that) it prevents us from feeling and processing them. We get feelings, we get emotions, some feel good some do not feel good. Although they may feel good and not good, there are neither good or not good, they are just feelings. We all have them, we all experience them and when we learn to not judge them they get felt, they get processed and they pass.
When we choose to deny, to ignore, to supress or to numb our feelings (through substances or behaviours) we are not felling or processing them. They do not just disappear. They remain within, they add to our pain bu prolonging our suffering. Often the only way out is through. We need to sit without feelings, we need to write about them, we need to talk about them. The more challenging the feeling the more help we may need to process them though having someone hear us, or to us getting deeper into the thoughts around the feelings to understand and/or accept them for them to be able to pass. We are not our feelings, we are not our emotions, they are just universal parts of every humans experience. The come and they pass. Judging our emotions prevents us from feeling and processing them.