Don’t Defend Your Defensiveness

When we find ourselves being defensive there’s a reason. We’re defending something, a belief, a nerve, a soft spot. When we feel defensive, we need to ask ourselves why? What bothers us in other people is usually a reflection of ourselves. There are many reasons why we are defensive. We could be reluctant to take responsibility; We could feel hurt or insecure or misunderstood; We might not know how to deal with our triggers; We could struggle to hold a space for other people’s opinions or we could feel threatened. When we are struggling with being defensive we need to remind ourselves of the following: We are not under attack; What the other person is saying may have some value and we should allow them to finish; We are not always right; It’s okay to disagree with someone; Some people may not understand what we are saying, it doesn’t mean we are wrong; It’s okay to let things go and having the last word does not mean we won the argument. We also could practice not responding to rudeness. When people are rude they reveal who they are not who we are, we don’t need to take it personally, we can be silent. Don’t defend your defensiveness.

#defensiveness #dontdefenduourdefensiveness #wedonthavetoberight

Recent Posts

See All

Boundaries are for us, they are there to teach others how to treat and love us. They come from a place of self-worth, when we foster this, when it grows our boundaries become less negotiable. We canno

If you are completely new to the gym, many offer inductions which I suggest you take advantage of to familiarise yourself with the space and the equipment. The machines all usually have instructions o

We can sometimes put up with a lot. Behaviours, words, situations & scenarios all because we love a person. When we understand that loving ourselves more is what serves us and in prioritising the love