Sometimes when we feel fear we can become controlling. Control serves as a defensive and protective function against our feelings of vulnerability. We sometimes want to control outcomes, answers, feelings and people. Anything we can’t control is teaching us how to let go. There are often explanations as to why we fall back into control as part of our behavioural patterns. If a childhood was unpredictable and inconsistent, a child may have often felt powerless and unsafe. As an adult they could manage that anxiety and create a sense of stability by dominating and controlling their environment as well as those around them. It doesn’t make it appropriate. but it does help us understand. Sometimes we need to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. It’s ok to not know how something is going to turn out, it’s ok to not have the answers to everything. It’s ok to feel how we feel and do what we do; Just as it is ok for others to feel how they feel and do what they do. When we are looking to control or change a situation, circumstance or person we are not accepting it or them, we are in fear. Sometimes we just need to develop the skill of letting go, letting go of expectations and outcomes as they will be what they will be. Cut down on control.